I'm in it today. Have been stirring deep in all the ways I limit and block myself, and have been for a while, but this week it has hit me hard. Woke up this morning and decided to pull some cards to reveal just what this self blocking is about. I pulled the Ace of Swords, the Three of Swords and the Six of Disks.
I stared and stared at them. Trying desperately to open to their message, it just wasn't coming. Then I switched gears and tried to just acknowledge the usual meaning for these cards. Nada. Nothing. I'm looking at them now, and still its like I'm looking at fuzzy almost meaningless cards.
Sitting a while longer with them, I tried to just let go. After all, I'm at this place because of this resistance and blockage I'm dealing with. It makes sense that I wouldn't be able to get a clear view of what is going on, particularly since as of late I have been diving deep into the roots of things. Its just felt like such a cold stone wall I kept hitting every time I looked at the cards.
So I'm sitting with it all. Surrendering to the fact that I am not yet ready to see this. Whatever it is. Its frustrating, and I'm clinging to the practice of self compassion and gentleness, because I am truly feeling the frustration of being stuck in these areas and so desperately want to move out of it.
The three cards remain on my altar, not speaking to me, or I'm just not really seeing them. Either way, I open to the wisdom needing to come through and hope it comes through soon.
