LunarMusings

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Transmuting Through Art

 

I had such a lovely day yesterday, so tapped into the perfection of every moment.  What happened today?  I woke up completely depressed.  I was so confused by it.  Checked in with myself, and realized that indeed the list of perfection that is dancing around me lately is still very much there, but my body, my mind, my heart felt so heavy. 

Its funny the things we do when we feel down.  I got up and before heading upstairs to do my meditation practice, I went into the bathroom and curled my hair.  :)  It didn't really pick me up, but I looked quite the cutie!  In my meditating, I surrendered to what was happening, surrendered to not having answers and choosing to let it guide me in my work through the day.

Truly, I don't know at this point if its hormonal, it feels as if it may be.  But this feeling has been my companion all day, and it is what impulsed my creative work today.  I had such a hard time putting this journal together.  Nothing felt right, I couldn't suss out the path I was taking, and it took so so long.  It became a continuous practice of surrender and letting go of whatever I was planning and letting the act of drawing, painting, weaving, be the only thing in front of me in that moment. 

It became an out of mind process, which can be so healing.  Several hours into my work I realized very tangibly that I was in fact transmuting.  That transmutation of body, circuitry, soul... all of it.  I was in the sensations of things shifting within, and those sensations guided my creativity.  It was such a revelation, such a homecoming artistically.  And such a teacher.

I'm still feeling depressed.  Physically depressed.  And life is really good as well.  I am making room for all of it at once. And being gentle with myself so that I can better hear/sense my needs as they reveal themselves. 

*I want to give a little shout out to a Faerie Queen who sent me the most delicious, courageous and inspiring email today.  I haven't responded yet, but I will dear one.  (Did you know you were a Faerie Queen?  I decided that today!  Thats exactly what you are.  :)

Perfect today...

~Tazo calm tea

~skyping with friends

~the sound of a pencil traveling across paper

~iTunes playlists

~cold weather

~yummy scarves

~art

~jelly pens

~my Beloved's goatee brushing up against my cheek

~restless doggies that want to play play play

~making journals for a living

~buddy systems

~support circles that form out of the blue

~knitting

~a sky light covered in snow

~my altar

~Queen of Swords

~freedom

~ease

~the alchemy taking place within me at this very moment

What perfect in your day today?

New Moon in Capricorn and Winter Solstice 2008

In the early morning hours, pacific coast standard time, the new moon birthed herself into the sign of Capricorn.  Earthy, perservering, ruled by Saturn.  This is the new moon that begins our year.  It all comes together.  The Winter Solstice on the 21st marked the beginning of our Solar year, the time when we make that slight pivot, and turn towards the light after being enveloped in darkness and the releasing of things no longer needed in our journey.  Then this new moon in Capricorn, a sign for setting goals, initiating projects and commencing once again a new journey needing to be manifested. 

Saturn, Capricorn's ruler, is a planet of constriction, limitations, and often times fear.  Its about making specific choices to single out and focus on, feeling the fear and letting it motivate you as opposed to stopping you dead in your tracks.  I don't really think its a coincidence that our calendar year ends and begins at this time. 

Last year when I created my Vision Board, I did a meditation to feel what words would theme this year for me.  2008 was the year of Ease and Freedom.  I remember how very tangible these words felt for me.  How important it was to allow these things in my life.  As is usually the case, when these words and the visioning I did took place I had no idea that the year ahead would look like what it ended up being. 

Sitting here, at the cabin in Idyllwild, working for myself, living with my Beloved as we create a creative, abundant and world adventuring life, I am amazed at what Freedom and Ease really look like for me today.  It makes me teary to realize that I am in the midst of manifesting something so much more then I had the capacity to envision even then.  It thrills me, because its a tell tale sign that whenever any of envision something for ourselves, what we end up with is always going to be so much more if we open to it.

This new year beginning for me is so different in feel and vibration then last year.  The word that has come through for me is born out of being in a different life altogether.  It comes out of existing in a different rhythm.

We had the opportunity to attend a ritual art performance in honor of the Solstice here in Idyllwild.  It was a perfectly cold evening, and I attended in a very quiet and deeply rooted manner.  My prayer was to be given the theme and direction for this upcoming year.  What I was given came unexpectedly, and when the word was spoken by Trine, the Yogini/Priestess/Artist/Goddess, an emotional dam broke in me that caught me by surprise.

My time now in this upcoming cycle is about Transmutation.  T r a n s m u t a t i o n.

This is different the transformation, although that is what will be taking place as well.  I am still holding this word close to my heart, still letting it unfold within me.  I am aware that this is about a cellular, vibrational, physical, elemental, spiritual shift into another being altogether.  And I am also aware that this would not have been possible had I still been entrenched in the life I was living in Long Beach.  It was a good life, but it was a noisy, cluttered life, still being lived with too much commitment to fear and habit.  Things are different now.

Interestingly, I don't have a list of things that I am going to call into my life in this next year.  Those are already there, and will come.  What is more tangible is the inner work.  The stillness, the dedication to a particular Goddess for this up coming year.  A journey is what this year will be about. 

I encourage you all to be still and find your word for this upcoming year.  Make a sign, create an altar, a vision board, a list...  This is the night to ritual around these things and set in motion the energy to manifest them in your life.

Blessings and Jai Ma.

End of Year Sale!!!!

Ok my lovelies!  Everything in Lunar Adornments is on sale through the end of the year! As the Solar year comes to a close its time to clear things out and make way for the new.

Goddess adornments, home adornments and luscious prints are all on sale.  Find yourself a little something and give yourself a Solstice/New year gift!  Next year is bringing quite a big bag of beauty, healing and love for all of us, celebrate that with something pretty!

Home This Morning

We just arrived home last night from a quick road trip up to the Bay Area.  I haven't been able to post while on the road and will be putting up photos from the trip on my Flickr Stream throughout the next few days.  Its been a whirlwind of fun and I have much to share, but for now, there is this. 

Last night we got in around 10 PM and there must have been about 3 feet of snow on the ground.  We couldn't pull the car onto the property!  We had to shovel out a pathway.  I have never had to shovel snow in my life!  It was so exciting.  :)  I feel like an official Mountain Girl.  While we were gone we missed the first snow fall of the year, but there is so much of it and its so glorious I don't mind having missed it while we were gone.  

Its cold and white and we are snuggled in our little haven with a roaring fire, and I am wrapped in one of my tie dyed blankets sipping Miso soup.  I have much to do and list of things to catch up on.  I will be posting quite a bit in the next few days to fill you in on some of it.

Really quickly though I will leave you with a list of the things we did and places we went:

Mill Valley

Leslie's house

Muir Beach

Bead shopping

Delicious Puerto Rican food

Best cocktails ever!

Berkeley

Berkeley Bowl

Hanging out with Mridu and Sam

The Starry Plough

Borders

Union Square

Cafe Gratitude

Meeting Kim

Pescadero Beach

Butano State Park

Camping

Santa Cruz

Jon's Uncle and Aunt

Raw Vegan cuisine

Elephant Seals

Making out

Knit talk

Photos

Coming home.

And here is what the snow outside looks like now that the sun is out and the snow is melting off the trees:

5-a-day Meme

 

The lovely Leah tagged me for the 5-a-day meme, and here it is, one day late!

5 things I do to stay mentally healthy:

1.  Bath Time

    I have been taking baths, and only baths since I was a sophmore in college.  I had a friend that had moved into an old house that didn't have a shower head and shared with me that it had become an amazing ritual for her every evening.  Since that moment I just shifted and adopted the ritual.  The only time I shower is if I'm somewhere that doesn't have a bath tub.  Its become one of the most important rituals of my day.  After massaging 5-10 people in a day, coming home and washing off the day is critical.  But even still, now, coming into a dimly lit bathroom and just existing in hot scented water.  Its how my day comes to a close and all the things that I need to let go of and put to rest happen. 

2.  Cooking

    This is another passion of mine that is like a meditation.  The chopping, the aromas, the deliciousness that results from mixing all the wonderful earth bounty... heaven.  Its always a time in my day where things quiet down, and I get to recalibrate back to mindfullness and create in a manner that feels like alchemy.

3.  Meditate

    When I stop doing this on a regular basis everything seems to clog up. 

4.  Journal

    Since I was 4 years old I've kept a journal.  I'm an external processor, and this has always been essential for me.  I do it when I need to, which is often, and have never had to keep a schedule or attempt to be disciplined about it.  Its like breathing for me.

5.  Alone Time

    This is how I recharge.  I'm an introvert, which means that although I love being social and hanging out with the people I love, and have always worked with people, I need quiet alone time to recharge and keep it all going .  I know that its part of the reason that Baths work so much for me (see number 1). 

Ok so let me here from you.  I'm going to tag 5, and if you want feel free to respond and leave a note here in teh comment section!

1.Maddie

2.  Leslie

3.  Connie

4.  Nita

5.  Michelle

   

Full Moon in Gemini 2008

This one has been a biggie for me.  So much is stirring within.  More then anything I think its the expanse that I am having a reaction to.  So much space, so much time, so much vast emptiness.  Last night I stepped outside to be with the Moon.  This picture doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of how gorgeous a night it was.  I just stood there, in the middle of all these trees, and all the forest creatures, the rocks, the clouds meandering their way across the lit night sky.  All I could do was breathe.

And then I tilted my face up to Her, asking Her for more of what I am already experiencing and fearing I can't handle more of.  I asked for Her to activate me.  Charge me.  Imbue me with the potent electricity needed to be more of what this moment was inviting me to be.  Then I breathed some more.

I marveled at how bright it was outside, and wandered around a bit.  Everything behind the cabin is on an incline.  The entire mountain is our backyard it seems and as I wandered I was wishing for a clearing that was relatively flat.  A girl like me needs spaces like this you see... how else can Witchy Libra Goddess Girl dance naked under the full moon?   Well... maybe when its warmer.  :)

I am shifting in ways that are unfamiliar to me.  And really what I want is to just dive into it.  Dive into this primitive shamanic journey of the body and soul and see where I end up.  Its an edge of the cliff that I am being drawn to.  And just as I typed that a part of me thinks, "yes, and its important to balance that with my worldly self, my partner, my work, my social life."  But really?  There is no balance when you are called to leap over the edge.  Something is calling me. 

I'm being called.  And I don't know by what or who, and to what.  But my core.  That deep center is getting more and more hungry for it. And if I still myself enough I know that the call is coming from within me.

I use to give all sorts of information for each full moon post.  The sign, what house it was in for me, and what that meant.  I'm not there today, this week, this year.  I'm in the raw truth of what I feel.  My mind has no answers.  My Being just knows the call.

The Moon reached her fullness today at 8:37 am PST.

Subtle Work, Subtle Awareness

I have had really restless uncomfortable sleep for the last two nights.  Its almost as if I am in a bad mood while sleeping.  The dreams don't really mean anything or go anywhere... just random snippets of things that frustrate more then anything.  I'm not having the anxiety dreams or the racing thoughts that usually happen when I'm stressed out.  This is different and frustrating because not only am I tired, but it feels so incongruent with how my happiness over this place in my life keeps deepening with each day.

Last night, I was on Facebook, and had the following exchange with two of my contacts:  (I have only included my friend's first initials to protect the lunar creatures that they are.) :)

Elena is restless tonight... 10:24pm

"T" at 10:34pm December 10 via Facebook Mobile

Me too. In bed. Can't sleep. Wtf.

Elena Rego at 10:38pm December 10

What is that about??? Last night I was exhausted, and fell asleep, but it was the most restless sleep ever. And tonight I'm feeling the same. Not sure what is going on.

"A" at 10:41pm December 10

moon...

Elena Rego at 10:45pm December 10

Yes, I thought that too, although I am generally pretty calm when the moon is in Taurus. It could be the impending full moon, or who knows what else is going on out there.

I use to get solar flare reports via email. Not sure why they stopped sending me emails anymore. But it was really interesting to tract anxiety levels in myself and the people around me when we would have a huge solar flare.

The energies are definitely stirring though. I am still seeing 4 legged spirits walking around everywhere...

"A" at 10:48pm December 10

http://science.nasa.gov/headlines/y2008/09dec_fullmoon.htm

 Elena Rego at 10:51pm December 10

:) you rock! Thanks for this!


I read the NASA article on the full moon coming up and figured that this certainly had something to do with the energy running through me.  But this morning I woke up in a state.  My sleep was terrible and I just couldn't get a handle on what was going on.  So up to my loft i went and set the space to do a long meditation. 

My teacher passed down an elemental mantra meditation that one of her teachers had passed on to her.  It clears out the power centers of the body, or the chakras.  And I thought it wise to spend a longer period of time then usual doing this meditation.  I felt out of sorts and not sure how to tap into what is happening around me. 

I did the meditation along with a few other mantra practices that I do and then sat in silence.  Wisdom came through, but I'm not sure how to articulate it. 

I've been settling down here.  Letting the quite and the energetic naturalness of this mountain have its way with recalibrating my being.  Subtle shifts are happening with each moment that passes for me here.  And it all happens in layers.  I sense that the Moons full approach began to stir some stagnant spaces within me.  The frustrated energy being evidence of this.  Once I finished my Elemental Mantras and cleared some of the energy, a tidal wave of physical anxiety rushed through my body.  It was a huge surge.  And I sat with it for a good hour and then it subsided.  A release.

I'm grateful for the space.  It literally feels like I am living in a space carved out of the normal time that I have been living my entire life.  And as this space continues to affect my existence, not only am I more senstive to the energy running in and around me, but it is allowing deeper layers of me come up for clearing, for shifts and healing.

I feel very quiet now.  In my body and very slow in each activity I engage in.  Present.  I'm becoming aware that I will need to attend to the subtle much more in order to be present for things like this as they will happen more and more.  This is so acutely the work of this winter season.

The Full Moon is tomorrow.  I will be posting some words on her tomorrow.

Blessings and Mindfullness.
e

 

The Inbetween Places

We went for a walk through the meadow across the road from us yesterday.  It was around 4pm and the fog was beginning to settled in quite heavily.  I had been in the house all day and wanted to get out with my camera and explore, stretch my legs and just breathe in some of that mountain air.  It was a wonderful walk.  The colors were transcendent, and I had experiences that I usually have when I have been meditating or ritualizing.

Out of the corner of my eye I would see moving from one tree to the next, or out from under a bushy clump of dried grass, or even sauntering through the middle of the meadow, four legged beings.  Seen but unSeen.  Not of our world, but of that place Inbetween.  Its interesting to note that I tend to see more four leggeds then I do human, or human spirit forms.  To some this may sound completely crazy, but for others of you... you know what I am speaking of.

It was enchanted and integrated, this walk of mine.  Jon and Tucker were walking up ahead, and I with my camera and my Sight, had a chance to feel more present in more of the realities that happen all at once but are rarely seen.  I have to wonder if my clearer sight has to do with the slower pace up here.  If perhaps I have finally slowed down enough, come back into my body enough to reactivate senses that have been blunted by the chaos of electricity, traffic, harried people running from one appointment to another. 

This is by far the most integrated Autumn season I have ever had.  I have followed the energies of the seasons with the activities of my life and slowed it down, stopped, let what needs to fall away fall.  I'm feeling lighter, cleaner, freer.  And I'm looking forward to the ending of this solar year.  Curious as to what mystical realms will reveal themselves to me while here.

You can see other images from my walk here.  And I will be selling more prints with custom mat boards through my etsy shop, which can be found in the right hand column, through out the week.

Blessings.