LunarMusings

My Sacred Life Sunday: Angie Evans

My Sacred Life Sunday

This weekend has been a lot of fun.  Jon and I attended our friends 4th of July party on their boat in Redondo Beach, and got to watch 3 fireworks shows occuring along the length of the coast!  It was a lovely day, with great food, disco dancing on a boat, and much snuggling for the evening show.  One of the fun things about this party was that it was hosted by my Soul Sister and her girlfriend, and was attended by about 20 of their other lesbian friends.  My Jon was the only guy there!  The joke of the night was that Jon would be awarded the Honorary Lesbian plaque for the evening.  My baby held his own very well among all of us women and I love him for it! 

Then last night we went to The Mint Night Club to attend a CD release part for the amazing Angie Evans.  Here is a bit about her:

Its not often one comes across a young artist with the ability to create a truly unique sound and mix it with heartfelt, empowering, insightful and arousing lyrics that leave you groping for more. Angie Evans combines folk, soul, jazz and funk as if they were meant to be together. Her poetic lyrics and soulful voice speak of love, sex, passion, and consciousness.

Born in the suburbs of Northern California, Angie grew up contemplating the outer realms of society and culture. She started playing guitar at 17 and within a year she had written her first song and began performing for her friends. Angie attended Cal State University Long Beach, where she received a degree in Creative Writing with a minor Womyn's Studies. It was there, after finding the wonders of Womyn's studies, sociology, race, politics, and the literature of ethnic and female writers, that she began to believe in the greater good of the poetic and political word. All while discovering the beauty in conscious hip hop, soul and funk music, she began to find a voice that was the perfect fit in content and vibration.

At 21, Angie self-produced and self-released her first 5-song EP. Since then, she has performed at countless venues ranging from coffee shops to college campuses in Long Beach and in the greater Los Angeles area. In June of 2006 Angie booked a six-city, nine-show, west coast tour and made the journey completely on her own. In addition to this diverse array of venues, Angie has performed at many events benefiting various feminist, LGBT and women-centered causes. Angie has been a featured performer at the San Diego Pride Festival (2006), the Long Beach Pride Festival (2005/2006), Ladyfest San Diego (2005), Ladyfest Las Vegas (2006), and this spring she will be performing at the Southern Womyns Festival in Atlanta.

Angie's music is powerful and so so sexy. I swear, and I say this with no disrespect intended towards my Beloved, or to hers... Because I'm not, nor have I ever, but with her...?  I. Would.  :)  Her music is that passionate, that sensual, that deep down in the depths of your pleasure heart and that rooted in Truth.  And she is just a beautiful soul.  She not only sings, but she serves us the meanest Mexican Hot Chocolate over at our favorite haunt, Viento y Agua.   

We danced until well after midnight in a sea of women loving women and it was such a cool state to be in.  I am so grateful to live in an area where people feel relatively free to be and to love as their hearts lead them.  Its one of the things that I love most about Long Beach, where I live.  And its why I loved our entrance stamp to the bar.  Celebrate.  This weekend for me was a celebration of friendship, freedom, love and music.

If you are in the market for some great new tunes, check her out.  You can purchase her music at the link above, and here is a link to her Myspace.  

How did you Celebrate your weekend?

Sacred Life Sunday: Magical Lovers and Righteous Babes

Sacred Life Sunday

Its been an amazing week.  The support and words I received from all of you in my previous post was so beautiful.  I am grateful to each of you who left comments, sent emails, and created posts of your own in response to mine. 

One of the gifts of wisdom I received this week was from our therapist.  She is quite simply amazing, and Jon and I have been so deeply enriched by having her in our lives.  She is a Spiritual Therapist and is in such alignment with who we are and where we want our lives to go, I sometimes can't believe how blessed we are to have her.  She helped me reframe this duality I have going with being an artist and a business woman.  Both require creation, creative approaches, and are a phenomenal opportunity to integrate my left and right brain. 

I had never looked at it this way, although it seems obvious.  Its all a dance, and I'm the one who gets to paint my approach to it all in whatever brushstrokes and colors I want.  What began to be clear to me however, was my pessimism about my abilities to pull off a successful creative life that supports me and flourishes in the world.

Money has always presented a bit of mental/emotional block for me, and this was the topic of discussion between Jon and I on our dinner date the other night.  It was one of those conversations where I am needing to revisit and have him repeat his wise and loving offerings over and over again, because I am forgetting already.  But in such a loving way, and with such wisdom, he pointed out for me how I speak about money, and my ability to manifest my financial world, from the assumption that I just can't. 

So much was said, but what I took with me from that talk was when he reminded me that I can do whatever I set myself out to do.  If someone else has done it then so can I.  And that I need to get that I have the capacity to find my way to what it is I want to create in my life. This is the assumption I need to operate from in the world.  I am paraphrasing a bit here, because again, it was challenging to hear.  But there is something magical in having a lover hold your gaze and tell you that you can.  And I found myself drinking it in like Moon Nectar for the Soul.  He was affirming in many ways that evening.  I later received the nicest compliment I have ever gotten.  Ever.  (Thank you deeply my love.)

I am finding that I am healed by my willingness to open.  Open to him, open to myself, and open to the gifts that are continually wanting to come my way and be received by me.  I know that when I am in resistance, as I am to approaching my store and income as a business, that I block the universe from gifting me with more.  I block myself from playing Big.  And more then all that, I miss an opportunity to really be creative in broader ways in my life.

After all this goodness, I went on a date with two of my Soul Sisters.  We saw Ani Difranco in concert at the House of Blues in Anaheim, California. I had never seen her live before even though I have been a fan for over a decade. Here's a little blurb on Ani:

"Ani DiFranco is a singer, guitarist, and songwriter. She started her own record label at the age of eighteen, called Righteous Babe Records. She is known as a prolific artist (having already released seventeen albums) and is seen by many as a women's rights and feminist icon. She received the "Woman of Courage Award" at the National Organization for Women (NOW) Conference and Young Feminist Summit in Albany, NY."

I don't know how to even write about this.  This woman rocks.  Her path as a Feminist performer in this world... paving her own way, putting out her own music, her political message, her refusal to sell out... the way she kills it with that guitar on stage!  Oh my god!  My soul was so shaken.  So excited, and thrilled.  The Righteous Babe in me felt ready to burst out of my body and take flight. You know that swell of tears you get when you watch something so true, so sourced from the deepest wells, so profoundly, artistically, revolutionarily beautiful, that you are no longer watching with your physical eyes or listening with your mere mortal ears, but instead receiving from your own deepest well of soul essence?  I had that.  Over and over again.  She sang to me.  Woke me up. 

Her stories about birthing her daughter at home, how that reinvented her Feminism, her lyrics, her energy and voice, the unapologetic taking up of her space in the world, her devotion to art, and paving her own way and giving the same opportunity to other artists, her courageousness in writing and reciting this poem:

floor me, and inspire me to be my own brand of courageous, revolutionary, spiritual feminist, with a voice that is compelled to speak out Truth, and the audacity to know that I can do anything I set out to do. 

Here is another video.  This one is part interview and part music video.  I love this song!

And of course this song.  Because we are all at minimum 32 flavors, and there is room for all of us at the top.

I set out at the beginning of this year to Play Big In LIfe, and since then, a huge mirror has been held up to my face by the universe showing me all the way in which I don't.  Its humbling, daunting at times, and depressing at others.  And yet, it has also been an amazing opportunity for magical encounters like the ones I have had this week that are there to show me the Big Me thats available.

Its been a good week.

My Sacred Life Sunday: Sister Tribe

My Sacred Life Project

I'm feeling a bit dry when it comes to typing, but its been such a lovely weekend filled with gatherings with Soul Sisters.  I've been hiding out a bit, trying to get work done, but this weekend was a biggie.  I needed a fix.  So Thursday night was a May Day ritual to affirm the Goddesses that we are, Saturday I hosted a dinner for 3 other fabulous girlies, and this morning I had hot Mexican chocolate with my Sweet Sister Heart, Tree.

Its been a lovely weekend, and now I have the rest of my Sunday afternoon to play with my art supplies.  Its a beautiful day indeed.  I am so grateful for the laughter, the love, the witness that our friends bare for us. 

Connections of the heart buoy us up, fill in the gaps created by exhaustion, and inspire... as in create a fresh deep, cleansing breath of air. 

Thank you my Beauties.  I love you all!

My Sacred Life Sunday: Of Women and Wolves

My Sacred Life Sunday

From my readings in Women Who Run With The Wolves:

"Because women have a soul-need to express themselves in their own soulful ways, they must develop and blossom in ways that are sensible to them and without molestation from others."

and

"In a single human being there are many other beings, all with their own values, motives, and devices.  Some psychological technologies suggest we arrest these beings, count them, name them, force them into harness till they shuffle along like vanquished slaves.  But to do this would halt the dance of wildish lights in a woman's eyes; it would halt her heat lightning and arrest all throwing of sparks.  Rather than corrupt her natural beauty, our work is to build for all these beings a wildish countryside wherein the artists among them can make, the lovers love, the healers heal."

I am sitting deep with this today.  Everything in this book takes me to a deeper terrain, a slower pattern of sifting through the details for my makings.  But this wisdom gives me much pause.  I have always thought of the lessons in balance in my life to be about how to give each of my Self parts equal time, each of the commitments, loves, responsibilities in my external life equal attention.  And even after realizing that balance is always dynamic and sometimes one aspect of my life gets more time, attention, priority then others for a time, and then later that shifts again, I still operate from a place that keeps each of these aspects in nice and neat boxes.

I am wondering now how to allow room for all of it.  At once, one at a time, several now, not later... whatever authentic configuration wants and needs to happen in any given moment.  Can I allow for the reality that today my artist self and my lover self and cranky self were very wide awake?  Two of those aspects of me were sorely stifled today, because my brain was so intent on shutting up anything that would deviate me from the task at hand. 

The Woman Mystery here is how to dance with it all as it spontaneously comes up in any given moment.  Or actually, the mystery is not to lead the dance at all, but hold space for it to unfold as is best and as it serves the higher purpose of my full expression as a Woman in this life. 

I take this with me into my week, into my art, into my loving, healing, cooking, and whatever else comes through in me.

Blessings from very muggy Long Beach.  :)

My Sacred Life Sunday: Stillness Expanded

Sacred Life Sunday

Creating time for stillness has been a challenge lately.  Life is a flurry of activities and I'm finding myself sinking into the habit of feeling as if there is no time for the important things, like meditating.

This weekend, I made it a point to do it despite the pressures my schedule seemed to impose on my brain.  What I discovered is what I always learn when I take time to be still and breathe - taking time to be still somehow creates greater space and time throughout the day. 

Its like some alchemical quantum phenomenon.  Somehow the hours in a day stretch a bit more, life goes by at a more spacious pace, and I'm able to be productive in a steady, centered and unfrenetic manner. 

So this is my returning this weekend.  Returning inward to time out, time to just Be, being still for some unspecified time, allowing the alchemy of meditation and breath to take place within and without me.

I send you all much peace and love today,
e

My Sacred Life Sunday: Reading

My Sacred Life Sunday

I am reading this again for the third time.  Its been quite a while and it feels like coming home to an old and significant friend.  I am circling with sisters again after a long break, and the Sacred Space created by a circle of Women is so potent.  It pulls me back into the bones of my femininity. 

I believe every woman should have this book and read it quietly to herself as a meditation, to her sisters in tones of importance, secret keys revealed, and to the young ones in a voice of potent knowing.  This book is a soul reclamation.

Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D shares in the very beginning of the book,

"We are filled with a longing for the wild.  There are few culturally sanctioned antidotes for this yearning.  We were taught to feel shame for such a desire.  We grew our hair long and used it to hide our feelings.  But the shadow of Wild Woman still lurks behind us during our days and in our nights.  No matter where we are, the shadow that trots behind us is definitely four-footed."

and

"Healthy wolves and healthy women share certain psychic characteristics:  keen sensing, playful spirit, and a heightened capacity for devotion.  Wolves and women are relational by nature, inquiring, possessed of great endurance, and strength.  They are deeply intuitive, intensely concerned with their young, their mate and their pack.  they are experienced in adapting to constantly changing circumstances; they are fiercely stalwart and very brave."

All this by page 4. 

As this new cycle of seasons begins, I encourage you to give this book to yourself.  If, like me, you have already read it, read it again.  Let this be a path back to the heart of your core as a woman.  Lets allow the path for our unfolding freedom and wildness to begin again!

I am so feeling this in the air.  So in-tuned to a drum beating in the far distance, beckoning a huge shift back into the truth of who I am... the Truth of who we are as Women.

Now, I know that my soul brothers out there come and read this blog from time to time.  My intention is not to exclude you, or discount your Sacred Wildness.  But for this day, with this book, I send this note to my Soul Sisters.  Hold space for us as we make our way into more of who we are.

Blessings to all of you,
e

My Sacred Life Sunday: The Bucket List

My Sacred Life Project

Jon and I went to see this today.  I loved the premise, the characters, and the written relationship between the two.  Having only a short time left to live or rather a short time before they "kick the bucket", the make a list of what they want to do prior to this happening.

It seems pretty apropo given the amount of visioning and goal setting going on.  And it also touched me to be reminded, that looking for the joy can often times be the most important thing to do in life.  What is it that brings me joy?  When do I feel joy?  Do I know how to abide in the joy that wants to dance with me every single day?

I feel inspired still and even more so to look at the time ahead of me and truly say YES to all of it.  To dream bigger then ever, and really sit with the reality that this is the one chance I get to do this...  at least that I will remember fully! 

I definately recommend going to see this movie.  However, here is what I just couldn't deal with:

This movie is a Rob Reiner film, with two huge actors in it.  I can't fathom why they didn't spend the extra money and actually film on location.  The computer generated scenes of the Taj Mahal, the Pyramids, and others were so completely awful it distracted from the movie.  Jon and I laughed out loud several times while they were showing the Taj Mahal in the background of a scene between the two main characters.  It was so fake, superimposed, and plastic, I almost felt insulted. 

On a more positive note though, I must say that I am grateful that I know what it is truly like there in India, and that visiting the Taj Mahal is one thing I have crossed off of my Bucket List! 

While we are all visioning what we are going to manifest in 2008, begin keeping a Bucket List for yourself.  Lets keep dreaming and asking and creating...

My Sacred Life Sunday: More Silence

My Sacred Life Sunday

This image is a small part of my Vision Board.  I will finally write about that journey in this weeks Wellness Wednesday.  But for today...  Such a perfect day.  Such a perfect weekend. 

And what that looks like is gray skies, water touching everything outside, no music in the house, no voices, a cat, a dog, both lounging in that non lazy way they know to do, art supplies all over the desk, the floor, the kitchen counter, the couch... Tea... lots and lots of tea, insence, candles flickering their dance on the walls, and the marvelous sacred sensation of space created by long stretches of time. 

Timespace dances with silence in a way that alchemizes a deeper soul. 

Such a good day...

I bow... I bow... I bow...

My Sacred Life Sunday: The Silence of Snow

My Sacred Life Sunday

This is what we unexpectedly woke up to at the cabin yesterday.  I woke up and glanced above my head out the window, and saw white!  I squealed, and we all promptly scrambled out of bed and headed outside.  I wasn't prepared for the weather, although I had expected rain all weekend.  What an amazing gift.

Tucker and I were the first to go outside.  And while Tucker ran like a mad dog all over the place in shear ecstasy, I took in the moment.  I am always so awed by the silence of snow.  So much is happening, and yet not one sound.  There is a softness, a stillness... a space between one thing and the next.  It stilled me in my core and I just breathed.  Deeply. 

I'm in California...  how much should that say about the weather?  I have been so unhappy by our lengthening Summers and our dryness.  I was looking forward to rain all weekend, or at least for a few hours, which is more realistic round these parts.  But the short notice trip up to Idyllwild, and the blessing of snow...

A deep long bow of gratitude.

Jai Ma.

My Sacred Life Sunday: Friends

My Sacred Life Project

I spent the weekend with friends and family.  It was busy, and loud, and there was quite a  lot of food consumption!  I had a wonderful time, and am feeling tired in a very good way.

Today Jon and I attended a day at the park with friends.  There were munchies and flag football!  I spent the afternoon taking pictures, practicing my photo skills and loving the ability to capture moments like this. 

Remember when you and your friend would walk around the playground holding hands?  I do.  And watching these two beautiful little girls do that, warmed my heart and took me to a place filled with innocence, peace and joy.

Have a blessed week!
e